Pakistani society is composed of different societal cultures. But always tagged and declare this society as Islamic society. In Pakistan two family system are running like other societies e.g. joint / extended or nuclear family system. Parents lived with their children and grand children are called joint or extended family system. This is very influential system in Pakistani society. In extended family system married siblings (with children) also lived with parents and unmarried siblings. Extended family system is followers of old school of thoughts, where nuclear family system assume a disgraced for society. Extended family system used to run by older family member. Nuclear family system; where couple lived alone or with their children. This system is very famous in western society.
Nuclear family system is considered a vagrant or careless system in Pakistan.
Pakistani society kept all those societal norms that were practicing before partition, especially by Hindus. Due to this adoption, after partition, extended family system also known as noble family system. Past to till now, our ancestor always show resistance towards nuclear family system. Although in Islam there is no prove for liking this (joint ) system. But these are the old thoughts of our ancestors that can hardly get changed. Usually in Pakistan parents have 4 to 6 children whom lived with their parents, grandparents and siblings of their father. In this system, freedom of choice is very rare. Only elders make the decisions of the family. Moreover , there is no concept of privacy and have small homes, where big family members are strict to live together. Few families who are rich (landlord), posses big home, successfully run this system.
Many flaws are seen in extended family system. Young couple who have 1 or 2 children dislike the system of kinship . And sharing of everything. Like giving the specific amount of money from their salary for home expenses. A girl who recently joined new home feel more discomfort than nuclear system . Her dreams for new life gone in to vain. They should be accountable in front of every elder person. Result of these rigid norms can seen in shape of family disputes like Mother n law conflict with Daughter n law, poor man (husband) failed to patch up. If they go against them family called them rebellion. All hatred becomes a part of the newly-wed couple. They even unable to nourish their children according to their own wish. The worst part of this extended family system which also condemn in Islam; woman must sit with their brother n laws and other male members. She can’t do anything according to her own wish. Unfortunately, family members trying to emotional black mail opponent parties via tagging extended family as Islamic system.
Why you are not getting married or becoming a mother or dad, are common slogans that are used in extended family system. Further these give birth to different frustration and mental agony .Where everyone desperate to know each and everything even either the couple do sex after their marriage or not. Eating ice cream in late night becomes a controversial issue. But many couple and elders who are still happy to adjust with each other. But after babies mostly want separate home and privacy which is not fulfilled in the joint system.
Nuclear family system is free from all above disputes. This is a system of independency and where everyone can freely move with fewer rules. Although there are rules and regulations too like above system but in these children are accountable to their parents only. In this system if anyone wants their own family he/she should earn. This develops responsible behavior in whole family.
In short, extended family system prevails the concept of dependency and with this everyone tries to get benefit from this. They rely on other’s money and make fun for interfering others life. Many even don’t take any step on their own like doing job, selecting school for their children and living alone. Despite this, nuclear family system is very good where children rely on their parents at certain stage. In other words, if the newly-wed couple strict to live separate home this step would later cut down family conflicts. Nuclear family system is getting more favoritism in Islam because of its fruitful benefits. In many Islamic countries percentage of nuclear family system is increased. And turkey is one of them. Now it’s the time to change our old and rigid norms that caused conflicts and psychological problems. Because those rules and norms are successful that made for people’s will.
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